Last summer, one of our boys overheard something that immediately got his attention:

$100.

We were eating dinner at a friend's house when our friend mentioned that his nephew had given up sugar for an entire year in exchange for $100.

Our oldest looked at us.

“I'd totally do that.”

Now, as parents, when one of our kids voluntarily offers to do something difficult and potentially good for him, we have a pretty simple policy:

Capitalize on it immediately.

So I looked at him and basically said, All right. You're on.

Best-case scenario, he made it a year.

Worst-case scenario, we hoped he would learn something trying. 

Besides the money, the oldest already had a reason for wanting to try.

He has ADHD, and he'd started noticing for himself that he didn't feel or function the same after eating a bunch of processed food and sugar. He felt more impulsive. Focusing seemed harder. And we noticed a big difference too. 

While we really wanted him to try low sugar/low processed foods, it was really hard to see a way to get him there, without feeling we would have to be the constant gatekeepers to food. 

So this really did feel like an optimal thing to try.

And for the first month, he did pretty well.

Until one Sunday when his brothers came home from church carrying popsicles and cookies.

And he cracked. He couldn't take it anymore. And he ate a cookie. 

He felt defeated. And honestly, it really didn't feel worth it. 

He was angry at himself, and angry he cracked. 

That's when something happened I wasn't expecting.

One of his brothers looked at him and said:

“I'll do it with you.”

The clock started over, but this time, he wasn't doing it alone. 

Now we had two.

And that changed things.

Then it started spreading.

Months went by.

The boys kept going.

We figured out some rules that made the challenge challenging without making our lives miserable.

And then...our third son wanted in.

And this kid LOVES sugar.

He can walk into Grandma's house and detect a cookie from three rooms away.

There was no way.

Except...

He really wanted in. 

We offered him $25 if he'd finish the remaining months alongside his big brothers.

Now suddenly, we had three boys doing it.

And somewhere along the way, I had to confront the fact that my kids were showing more discipline than I was.

So I joined them.

I wasn't perfect. Let's just say I did not earn my $100.

But they pulled me along.

Over the year, the way we bought food started changing. Most of the high-sugar processed snacks disappeared. Breakfast changed. Snacks changed. Drinks changed.

My wife even gave up her beloved caffeinated Dr Pepper.

That's when I realized this had become a lot bigger than a $100 bet.

And here's the important part:

Our kids did not eat literally zero sugar for a year.

That wasn't the goal.

We wanted to break everyday sugar—the constant stream of cereal, juice, cookies, granola bars, treats and processed snacks that had somehow become normal.

​So we created rules we could actually live with:

So what happens now?

We're not doing another year-long challenge.

But we also aren't going back.

Our grocery habits have changed too much.

We're still not stocking regular syrup, sugary cereals, cookies and high-sugar processed snacks as everyday food. We keep to the 5g rule on easy to grab snacks. 

But instead, everyone gets one treat token per week.

Want ice cream? Use it.

Donut? Go for it.

Cookie with your friends? Your call.

And if the kids want an extra treat, they can earn one with the stars they get for doing extra chores.

Sugar isn't forbidden. But it's also not really available. .

And honestly, that's probably the biggest thing this challenge gave us.

But there's something else I didn't expect.

I watched one boy decide to do something hard.

Then I watched his brother step beside him when it got lonely.

Then another brother decided he wanted to become the kind of kid who could do it too.

And eventually, they started leading us.

​That was worth a heck of a lot more than $100.

As parents, we're constantly trying to teach our kids discipline, resilience and confidence.

But I don't think we can lecture those things into them.

Sometimes you just have to put a worthwhile challenge in front of a kid, give him room to struggle with it, and see what happens.

That's a big part of why Rachelle and I built Pathfinder.

Mission 00 is another challenge like that.

Your son gets a tarp, paracord and a mission: build a shelter that can survive wind and rain.

Dad's job isn't to build it for him.

In fact, that's kind of the whole point.

Give him the mission. Let him struggle. And see what he accomplishes.

He might surprise you, just like my boys surprised me with their sugar challenge. 

​If you want to try your first Pathfinder mission with your son, start with Mission 00 here.